Johannesburg 14-11-2017: Author of The Woman In Me, Coto “Cookie” NN Mbekeni-Makaba has launched her second book titled: “The Eden of Relationships: From Personal Leadership to Relationship Success”, which can be ordered and purchased from Mbekeni-Makaba directly on her social media platforms, Facebook: Cookie Makaba.
“What made me write this specific book is that I have noted that relationships generally are suffering a lot and I felt the need to do something about this social scourge? Particular women, the realization came up because I went through a hectic relationship and I saw my friends go through hectic relationships themselves”, Mbekeni-Makaba.
She reiterates this, her intention, in the prologue of the book when she writes, “The time for taking action as women has come. We need to begin to take our place as role models to the youth of the country.” She goes on to assert, “People have lost the reverence for the soul in the other. They have become gods who own the other. It is this attitude that has led to a FEAR of authentic relationships in the majority of persons.”
The book coaches you to find your real and authentic self within the relationship and how to balance work with relationship, my career began to grow so was my education, but that it did not stay well with my marriage it was threatened, So I have to quit my career to save my marriage. At the time I realized that I am not the only woman going through this, this book It inspires and encourages woman to be more and do more for themselves and how they can balance their relationships with their career.
“I discovered as I was going through my relationships that there are really some basic principles that are equally important for all relationships. The basic principle, pillar or the foundation is that you need to manage yourself first, know yourself first, and then you will be able to manage relationships with other people. That’s why I came up with the sub-title “From Personal Leadership to Relationship Success.”
Mbekeni-Makaba says it took her quite some time to complete the book, because initially, she did not have the confidence because she was still walking. “If you took the first version and looked at the second version of the book, you will see a difference”, Mbekeni-Makaba.
Touching on relationships, Mbekeni-Makaba emphasizes the importance of managing yourself as a person or as a woman before you attempt to manage relationships. “You have to value yourself first as woman, know that you are important enough not to be scared of yourself”, says Mbekeni-Makaba. Coming from a place where Mbekeni-Makaba failed in self-management, she says with this book she hopes to reach the young and the old, from the age of 13 upwards.
“This is because some of us in our old age are alone and lonely, because we never knew who we were, we never managed who we were and as a result we were unable to manage relationships.” And we have compromise our own growth for our marriage to succeed.
After months of attempting to put the book together, she says it finally came to life because she knew who she was, she began to realize who she is, what her shape is and where her space is in the jigsaw puzzle of life.
“I discovered that once you discover that you really are valuable and that you do not need to be affirmed by anyone then you will begin to value yourself.” “However,” she goes on, “if you have not learned from past experiences and they have been a threat to you, not stepping stones, then it becomes a difficult journey because those things keep on haunting you.”
Discussing failed relationships, Mbekeni-Makaba refers to her marriage which ended in failure. She reflects how she lacked at that point and how it could have been better had she had the wisdom she has now. “I was in a failed relationship, I was married for 26 years, but I had to get a divorce, and when I look back, I think, “ If I had known and understood my SHAPE, especially the “E” part of the SHAPE, perhaps I may have been able to relate better to the father of my children. It goes back to knowing oneself and knowing one?s shape so one can lead themselves into successful relationships. That’s why the book is sub-titled “From Personal Leadership to Relationship Success””, says Mbekeni-Makaba. An extract from her epilogue says “to have „healthy? relationships leading to healthy marriages, leading to healthy families, yielding healthy children, yielding to healthy communities, resulting in healthy societies and healthy nations worldwide we need to start with ourselves.”
“We were created in love, by love, through love and that is why we always have this hunger to be loved because we are love ourselves”, Mbekeni-Makaba. With hopes to touch as many lives as possible, Mbekeni-Makaba says „I would like to see this book actually change lives out there. In the book, I challenge people, especially in the introduction, to say that one should go out there to change the world because change begins with you. That relationship between you and the next person is the beginning of your becoming an agent of change.”
This Relationship Manual is a book meant to assist the individual to find himself or herself, understand who they are and what their purpose is. S/He then is supported through a process of confronting his/her attitude to relationships and reflecting on past experiences that might be impacting on their current relationship.
Mbekeni-Makaba has consequently embarked on a programme for both singles and couples called “The Orchards of Eden”. The vision of the programme is “Healthy” relationships, leading to “healthy” marriages, leading to “healthy” families, resulting in “healthy” communities.”